Why

Music and Voice by suno

"I want to be seen."

"Not in a big way. Not… anything like that. Just enough that when I'm in a room, I don't feel like I could leave and nothing would shift. Like something would register. Even if it's small. Just… something."

“Why.”

"So I don't feel like I'm just here. Like I pass through things and nothing holds me, nothing keeps any shape of me once I'm gone. I don't need attention. That's not what I'm saying. I just… don't want to feel interchangeable."

"And if you are seen."

"Then I exist. To someone. Which is different. It's not the same as just being there. It's… confirmed."

"And if they stop looking."

"Then I find someone else... or I learn to stay where I am longer. Make it harder to miss."

"And if you can't."

"I want to be heard."

"Because carrying things alone changes them. You start adjusting them without realizing it, editing them down so they fit inside you. And after a while, you don't know what they were anymore."

“Why.”

"So I don't have to carry everything by myself. Or at least not all of it in the same way."

"And if they hear you."

"Then it's not just mine anymore. It exists somewhere else, outside of me, and that… that changes it. It makes it feel less permanent."

"And if they misunderstand."

"They will. That's not the point."

"What is."

"That I said it. That it left me. That it didn't stay contained. Even if it comes back wrong, it still left once. That matters."

"And if saying it changes nothing."

"It changes something. Even if it's just me."

"I want to be held."

"Why."

"Because everything feels like it moves. All the time. Like nothing stays where it is long enough to settle. Even when things are fine, they don't feel… fixed. Just… temporary in a way that's hard to ignore."

"...and you think someone else can stop that?"

"No. Not stop it. I don't think it stops. But they can slow it. Or make it feel like it's not all moving at once. Like there's at least one point where things hold."

"And when they let go."

"Then I know it can slow. Even if it doesn't stay that way."

"I want to be strong."

"Why."

"So nothing breaks me."

"Nothing."

"Nothing. Because once something does, it doesn't go back the same. People say it makes you better, but it just… changes the shape of things. And then you're always adjusting to that."

"And if nothing breaks you."

"Then I can keep going. I don't have to stop and rebuild every time something hits. I just… continue."

"And if you never stop."

"I want to be loved."

"Why."

"Because I don't know how to do that part myself. Not in a way that feels real. You can tell yourself things, but it doesn't land the same. It doesn't hold."

"And if someone loves you."

"Then I don't have to wonder. It's there. It exists without me having to construct it."

"And if they leave."

"They will."

"And then."

"Then I'll know it was possible. That it wasn't just something I imagined or tried to convince myself of. It happened once. That's enough."

"You want something outside of you."

“Nothing wrong with that.”

"Until it's gone.”

"I want to be enough."

"Why."

"So I can stop. Stop measuring everything against something else. Stop trying to adjust constantly. Just… exist without needing to check if it's working."

"Stop what."

"Looking.”

"And if you are enough."

"Who decides."

"I don't know."

"Then you're still looking."